It wasn't that long ago I used to think its fun being an adult making my own choices, but now I'm beginning to realize we have an responsibility as an adult to do what's right and act our age. I kinda hate that, but it is teaching me to grow up and that's what I need.
God been teaching me to depend more on Him then anyone else. He lets me know He's there and isn't leaving me. Been teaching me He has the power to give and take away, but has also taught me He can give back. He's been pounding on me more then ever before, I am constantly being reminded what I am doing and being aware of it. More then anything though He shows He loves me for me and that's a sense of comfort I need.
My job is just a job to me now and I do still like it, just don't wanna do the work because I'm getting lazy bout it. But I need to learn responsibility, it's the only way I'll ever grow up. And if I want a family someday of my own then I need to do these things.
When it comes to money it's so easy to blow it, but lately I been trying to save and realizing it's harder to save when you don't have much to start saving with. But even a little is a place to start. I work 4 days a week now doing 8 hours each day while I go to Bastrop Healing Options in bastrop 3 days a week for counseling. I really like being on a schedule so I basically know what I'm doing and when except on the days when I don't feel like it, but that's part of being an adult sucking it up and doing it anyway. But I really love how the Bible teaches to do your best and give your all, sometimes that can be a motivation for me. Thing is bout that is its always on my mind at work, like God is asking me, "Brandi, are you doing your best?" Its hard as a Christian sometimes to do your all and your very best. It only bothers me at the end of my shift the work never gets done because there's always something to do. On the weekends its harder to get to the trash outside because they are busy on weekends and very busy around noon during the week as well. But I am learning ways what to do and when to fit in time to do trash.
The coolest thing I can say bout lately is that satan don't seem to bother me so much anymore and I find that extremely awesome. And it don't feel like such a burden to take my medication because it helps more then I know, well I do feel well as in normal what we call normal now days.
What bothers me the most right now is trying to swallow the fact that I'm not in control, but only my actions and the choices I make. Not others, and not the situation. I only pray God helps me accept that and do what only I can.
